All heaven was in mourning,
The day that young man died;
When He closed His eyes, they said,
Ten thousand angels cried.
The angels shed their many tears,
Because He was God's Son;
But there is a special sadness,
When God takes the very young.
At times like that, I question God,
Why let a child die?
I cannot understand it,
And I need to ask Him why.
I, too, have heard the angels cry,
I've heard them cry first hand;
For I, too, gave up a child,
And I've tried hard to understand.
Yes, I received God's comfort,
Though I'm grateful, I want more;
I want reasons; I want meaning,
I am a parent who's heart-sore.
God can give, and God can take,
I am well aware of this;
But, why my baby ... why my child?
Why did God put him on His list?
Did I love my child too much?
Was he too good for this old earth?
Had his purpose here been filled?
Was that why he was taken first?
I awake each day with questions,
I fall asleep at night, the same;
So many times I ask God why,
I'm both saddened and ashamed.
But then, in reflective moments,
When my prayers are most intense,
One word keeps going through my mind,
Patience ... patience ... patience.
Maybe now is not the time,
To explain this great heartache;
Even if I knew God's reasons,
What difference would it make?
Can't I just be grateful,
For any time we had?
Accept God's action without question?
Why is that so very bad?
What's my hurry ... why my pressure?
Is my faith not strong enough?
God will explain it when He's ready,
Surely I can trust that much.
God understands my broken heart,
He, too, gave up a Son;
He knows the pain of one lost child,
He weeps with me, and we are one.
Just as I talk to God each day,
I talk to my precious child;
I blow him kisses, and I say,
"See you, honey, in a while."
~ Virginia Ellis ~